Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Gosh it has been a long while since I have posted. My good friend Ashley told me she misses reading my blogs, and you know what I miss writing them. It is definitely an outlet for me. To catch you up to speed I started my journey at 342lbs, and I am down to 260lbs. Which is great I just wish I was farther along I have hit a plateau and need to wade it out and not get discouraged; easier said than done. Plus I have more stress in my life. My ex-fiancee decided to move back to town and is being a lying deceitful snake that doesn't deserve the energy of me even writing about him in this blog, but alas, when someone hurts you, its hard not to think about it. I am usually a person who allows myself one day of pity partying and then I pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on. For some reason I am not able to do that this time. I really am just praying for God to heal my wounds. I feel so alone. I used to hang out with a group of girls from work, but everyone seems to have found a significant other and moved on. Why can't I? Am I destined to be alone forever? I don't know what has gotten into me. Usually I would say I don't need a man, and I would mean it, but this past week, I just really want to be with someone who loves me, who lets me know I am worth it. I want to be with someone who thinks of me when he wakes up and I am the last thing he thinks of when his head hits the pillow. SOmeone who thinks of me as their everything. My parents have that kind of love. Is it pathetic that I envy them? Well anyways it is ncie to get all of this off my chest. I will try and keep up with my posts, it does keep me on track. TTYS.