Today was nice. I woke up, procrastinated (like always), got dressed and went to my old job. It was nice to see people I haven't seen in a year or so, they all commented on how great I look (always nice to hear). Afterwards I went to Beall's my aunt and uncle gave me a $50 gift certificate. So I picked up a sweater that was a 2x and a shirt that was a 2x, I figured they would be a little tight, and I could wear them in a few weeks when I lose a couple more pounds. GUESS WHAT! They fit! I was so excited. I waqs feeling a little down on myself yesterday, and that really perked me up. I am looking forward to going to me weigh in next week, so I can see how much more I have lost. That's all for now.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall . . .

I woke up this morning and was so hungry. Was it because I had a protein bar last night that had a few carbs? I don't know. I walked into the bathroom and was disgusted by what I saw in the mirror. My arms are the fattest arms I have ever seen, when I lose all my weight will they still be saggy? My legs look like cottage cheese; will they ever be toned and smooth? And my ass don't even get me started on that. I had to stop myself, this toxic self loathing is what got me to 342lbs. So instead, today I will make a conscious effort to be positive about myself. It is something I will have to take day by day. So here are 5 things I like about myself: 1.) I have pretty eyes, 2.) I am a very loyal person, 3.) I have nice lips, 4.) I am funny and make people (including myself) laugh, 5.) I am intelligent (I pick new things up quickly and usually retain the knowledge). On another note, I have to work tonight, I am going to go in with a good attitude (I usually do) and it will be a good night (positive affirmation people, lets hope this works, lol). I hope to have time to walk up and down the 8 flights of stairs a couple of times with Jenny. I have been eating better, but I really need to exercise more.

Mumbo Jumbo

Not sure which direction I am going to go with this blog, but strap on your seatbelts I can guarantee it will be a memorable ride ;) So . . . this being my first blog I thought I would tell you a little about myself. My name is Nicole. I work the night shift as an RRT. It has proven to be both demanding and rewarding. I've learned I don't know everything like I thought I did. I am a firm believer in what you put into life, is what you get out of it (so if your life is crappy, stop putting crap into it). I am not the most patient person, it is a fault I know I must work on. I strive for excellence, and am way to hard on myself and those around me. I do love to have fun, and make people laugh. I am brutally honest, so if you don't want my opinion please don't ask. I can't stand loud noise (unless I am making it, lol), incompentece, and liars. I don't believe in regrets, they are a waste of time. I love looking up quotes, it is an obsession/ hobby of mine. I have been through a lot other 29 yr olds haven't had to go through (a lot from my own doing), but I wouldn't change anything, it has made me who I am today, and for the most part I like that person. October. 28th, 2009 was the day I retook my life back. I was raped when I was 16 and just ate away my feelings to a whopping 342lbs on my 5'9 frame. I had 186lbs of fat, most people don't even weigh 186lbs, and that is how much fat I had, this realization really upset me. I joined Medi Weightloss Clinic on Oct.28 thanks to meeting a friend of a friend, I decided I was not going to live my 30's as I did my 20's "the fat girl with a pretty face". I have lost 57lbs to date which I am ecstatic about, but still have a long way to go. My goal weight is between 160-170lbs, I am 5'9 with a lot of curves I realize I will never be skinny, and you know what I don't want to be. That's me in a nutshell.

~Nicole